SO, I am having a baby | pregnancy musings.

It is finally setting in to my thick skull. My due date is in less than three weeks and yesterday I had to go to the hospital because I am measuring small (which they thought was bad, but it turns out everything is ok. Perhaps my baby is just small? SCORE!)

I am starting to nest. Tonight when the huz gets home, we are setting up EVERYTHING that we haven’t set up yet. The huz has been hesitant to clutter up the house, but I cannot wait any longer. I am becoming that crazy-pregnant-lady. I also have a gnarly sinus infection, so he really cannot say no to me any longer :)

I just made an appointment with a pediatrician. I have a crib in my house. I have washed all his clothes (they are so tiny!). The carseat is installed and we deep cleaned our home this past weekend. WEIRD.

I am having a baby. I assume this will set in after he comes, but perhaps it will always be something of a wonder? Perhaps I will look at him from time to time throughout his life and think, “Gosh, he is mine. I carried him, birthed him and raised him. What a wonder.” I mean, I still sometimes wake up next to the huz and think, “Gosh, we are married! What a wonder.”

When I think about the fact that I have been pregnant for nine months, it seems like forever since I took that pregnancy test. But, on the other hand, the time flew by and I cannot believe he is coming so soon.

I have no pregnancy complaints. I had a very uneventful pregnancy. Almost no morning sickness, plenty of energy and great support from family and friends. I acted so un-pregnant that the huz decided we should go camping in January and hike Yosemite last week. And I said yes! Turns out a sinus infection + pregnancy keeps you from hiking in Yosemite, which was probably for the best. I stayed back in the room while the huz took his parents all over the beautiful national park (jealous!). I am not the type of woman to gush about how much I loved being pregnant. I don’t know if I LOVED it, but I didn’t not like it either. But, like I said, I had it so easy compared to many of my friends that I don’t think I am the right person to answer this question.

I am excited to eat sushi again and soft cheeses. And drink more than one cup of coffee a day. I am excited to be able to run again (DID I JUST SAY THAT?! People say that you cannot change your spouse, but the huz sure changed my outlook on running).

Mostly I am excited to meet this little cave baby! I cannot even begin to comprehend how completely he is going to change our lives and parts of that are scary but mostly I am excited for the change and the challenge. I look forward to the blessings and the wonder. baby laughs and baby smells (the good and the bad ;)).

Well, cheers to the next big adventure (well, maybe labor is technically the next big adventure, but I don’t feel like giving cheers to that ;))

♥ sam

Sharing a blog post

Have you read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp? No? You need to! Her writing…poetic. Her insight…awe-some.

This post is a personal story, but I wanted to explain why this post by Ann meant so much to me. I had to learn this lesson this past year in a real and hard but wonderful way.

If you know my love story, you know it was pretty exciting. The huz is incredibly creative and romantic. Each birthday/holiday/milestone was marked with something that made me feel beyond special and loved and unique and amazing and…well, a girl could go on and on. and on and on. Our dating relationship culminated with an engagement story that takes at least 30 minutes to tell…and if you were a part of it you know what I mean. I cannot imagine a better proposal. It involved everything I love.

I was never the girl who desired lavish gifts or big shows of affection, but in three years of dating, I came to expect these things. I came to understand that these things were the ways my future groom showed his love for me. I came to equate lavish shows of affection with his love for me. I didn’t even realize I had these expectations or what would happen in my heart when they were unmet.

I am sure you have caught on to the foreshadow of this post. As the huz and I settled into married life and the busyness that just continues  to compound year after year – well, the outlandish shows of affection became less and less and I started to feel loved less and less. This came to a head when we moved to San Francisco about a year ago. After many arguments, tears and misunderstanding, I finally came to the realization of the unmet and unrealized expectations I had for the huz and how unfair I was being. He also realized that he had kind of set himself up for failure (I mean, our dating relationship was just that lavish!) and that just because life had gotten busy, doesn’t mean there isn’t time for small shows of affection.

I would say that this past year we both grew a lot and came to understand what the new normal is and to be honest, I love it! God is good and he has stretched us both. I love that He taught us both so much this past year, about each other, about Himself and about how wholly we will need to rely on Him as our son arrives in March 2014. Reading this blog post below reminded me of what is important and all that God taught me this year about marriage, friendship and my loving, oh-SO-not-boring husband.

A Holy Experience – The Real Truth about ‘Boring’ Men — and the Women who Live with Them: Redefining Boring.

♥ sam

The Important Thing About Yelling

Well,

As most of you know, the huz and I are expecting our first kiddo! A BOY. We are boyond excited. So far this process has been:

-surreal

-nap-filled

-snack-filled

-joyful

-prayer-filled

I’ll post more as we go along, but for now, a friend shared this article with me and I just had to share. My parent’s weren’t yellers and I am SO thankful for that. I pray I am a mom just like mine.

 

The Important Thing About Yelling.

 

<3

sam